Have you ever tried to give away yourself, your whole being, just so that someone would love you back? Have you ever been torn apart, bit by bit, piece by piece, by someone you love dearly and yet, you’d let it happen all over again, just so that you wouldn’t lose them?
Love. A beautiful emotion. But sometimes, it turns dark. Sometimes, the very love that was blissful, turns into a venom slowly poisoning you from within. It can make you justify the worst of sins and blind you. And honestly speaking, it is by far the most painful thing I experienced.
My past haunts me to this day. Unforgettable. Unforgivable. It lingers on in the back of my mind, slowly pulling me apart, laying me bare. What would you do, if your body remembers everything, clear as day, but your mind refuses to acknowledge? What would you do, if everything you do, everything you are, is dictated by the trauma that you went through?
Sometimes you save yourself. Sometimes the other. I saved the other and that caused me a lot of pain. It made me lose myself in a torrent of emotions difficult to describe and eventually it changed me, altered me for life.
Love is blind, and that is the truth. But sadly, it’s not always in a good way. Love can make you hurt yourself in the process of loving another. It can make you raw, vulnerable. It can make sense but not make sense at the same time. It’s a contradiction. It’s a confusion. It’s chaos.
But this same love, can also save you. And that is what makes life worth it.