Haiku: Reborn.

Break the barriers,
Crush the walls. Look beyond and
Find all hopes reborn.

-3.14

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The dark side of love.

Have you ever tried to give away yourself, your whole being, just so that someone would love you back? Have you ever been torn apart, bit by bit, piece by piece, by someone you love dearly and yet, you’d let it happen all over again, just so that you wouldn’t lose them?

Love. A beautiful emotion. But sometimes, it turns dark. Sometimes, the very love that was blissful, turns into a venom slowly poisoning you from within. It can make you justify the worst of sins and blind you. And honestly speaking, it is by far the most painful thing I experienced.

My past haunts me to this day. Unforgettable. Unforgivable. It lingers on in the back of my mind, slowly pulling me apart, laying me bare. What would you do, if your body remembers everything, clear as day, but your mind refuses to acknowledge? What would you do, if everything you do, everything you are, is dictated by the trauma that you went through?

Sometimes you save yourself. Sometimes the other. I saved the other and that caused me a lot of pain. It made me lose myself in a torrent of emotions difficult to describe and eventually it changed me, altered me for life.

Love is blind, and that is the truth. But sadly, it’s not always in a good way. Love can make you hurt yourself in the process of loving another. It can make you raw, vulnerable. It can make sense but not make sense at the same time. It’s a contradiction. It’s a confusion. It’s chaos.

But this same love, can also save you. And that is what makes life worth it.

-3.14

 

Voice of reason: FGM

I’m not sure if you’ve heard of FGM. Female Genital Mutilation. Yes, It’s a thing, and it’s a problem that plagues our society. Hiding beneath years and years of tradition, this social issue is something that brought about a lot of pain in me. I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it must be for women that are forced to undergo this torture. I was lucky but someone out there might not be. So, I wanna do my bit to try and help to stop this social evil. Here’s a poem I’ve written, trying to understand FGM from a victim’s perspective.

P.S. I don’t mean to offend anyone. This is just my way of trying to bring about change.

FGM.

You hold me down as I fight for my life,
I scream in pain but my screams go unheard,
My own mother, a traitor,
Holds me down, to be tortured.

You tear away my clothes,
And plan your evil deed,
Tears streaming down my face
As I await the torture of my fate.

I see the sharp knife
That will butcher my life,
I see your determination
In making my life a living hell.

I hear the chanting,
Of years of ruthless tradition,
Years of ignorance and inhumanity,
Put together in a tune.

And suddenly! The knife swings down!
And in one stroke, you ripped me of my feminity.
The inhumanity of your act, drips down the knife,
As my blood stains this god forsaken floor.

I lie immobile,
As my voice escapes me,
Unable to run, unable to hide,
I feel I’ve been ripped of my soul.

I’m left alone to heal,
From the brutal wound you inflicted,
The wound that sealed my fate,
My fate of a painful future.

All this because I’m a woman,
Who is to be denied of pleasure.
Because the pain of a woman,
Is somehow this culture’s treasure.

-3.14

“GREEK GOD”

Today I’d like to talk about my partner. My partner in crime, my partner in life. Greek God, that’s what he wants to be called. And yes, I’m gonna humour him.

Sometimes, the most unexpected things happen in life, and our relationship was one of them. Like a typical movie, we started out as friends which magically turned into crazy, breathtaking, eye-sparkling, heart melting love. But the journey wasn’t easy, not one bit.

We’re like colours from different ends of the spectrum, never meant to be together but fighting for it just the same. Somehow making it past the pain that our relationship brings with it. My Greek God. He’s my confidant, my best friend and my everything. It’s scary sometimes, the amount of trust I have in him. But then again, what is life without trust right? Without trust, we’d be left with barely anything to hold on to.

People keep contemplating about what’s most important in a relationship. Love, trust, compromise are the most common answers. Yes, they’re all important but I believe that the most important thing is dedication. A relationship needs continuous nurturing, from both ends. Only then, will it evolve and get stronger, capable of withstanding any storm coming it’s way.

And that, is what Greek God and I follow, always letting the other grow to be their own person but still tied to each other in a bond stronger than Love itself. A bond of respect and dedication.

-3.14

Rock bottom.

There are times, when everything in life, seems to be going against you. Like you are standing in the dead centre of a deadly tornado with nowhere to go.

This is the story of my most desperate times. It is a sad story of course. But it was my most vulnerable time, that made me who I am today. Which is why, I’d like to share it with you because I’d like you to know, that no matter what, things WILL get better.

The beginning of 2015 was terrible for me. My past haunted me, causing me to lose my mind. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and had to get help. You may be wondering, why I am talking about this in my first post. It is to prove to you, that I’m not perfect, and no matter how beautifully one might describe life, it isn’t necessarily how it always is.

During this hard time, My friends were the only ones I could depend on. My friends and my partner. I was so lost in my pain, that I couldn’t even bring myself to look forward to anything. I lost sight of what made me happy, and of what mattered. And somehow slowly, MY pain, MY suffering, became the centre of my life.

But this wasn’t who I was. I was the person who’d help others when they needed me. I was the person who was always there for others. But pain changed me. Pain changes everything. And sadly enough, it is something everybody experiences, one time or another.

It took me 3 months to get past my pain and sadness. 3 months to be able to look at the world again and see it as the happy place that its supposed to be.

And here I am today! Sharing my life with you, living my dream.

It’s all thanks to my friends and my partner. The love and support they gave me was boundless. And in the end, it worked its charm. As love always does.

So don’t give up hope, don’t give up on yourself. Because once you are able to open your eyes to the world again, it’ll be worth all the pain that you have endured.

-3.14